


All is fair in coffee and Star Wars

by Snap_crackle_spock



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Brendol isn't actually his fist name, Chewie is a dog, Coffeeshop AU, Get it?, M/M, Modern AU, Rey isn't in a relationship with anyone, Starwars - Freeform, anyone?, instead of Starbucks, it's Hux's dad's, kylo ren is an emo shit, stormpilot is already canon, unless you count self love as a person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 01:29:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7019944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snap_crackle_spock/pseuds/Snap_crackle_spock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The coffee AU nobody asked for and yet we all got.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All is fair in coffee and Star Wars

**Author's Note:**

> this took a lot of time but I love it

“I’m not saying that I hate him!” Poe protested from his place at the espresso machine, defending himself against poor Finn. The two of them had been arguing about whatever it was they were arguing about since Rey had gotten there, nearly 15 minutes ago, “It’s just that-”

“You  _ do _ hate him!” Finn pointed out, pulling out one of the small cakes from the pastry display for an impatient Jessica Pava, one of their regulars and Rey’s best friend. That didn’t stop her from tapping her foot on the wood floor every time the had to wait more than a minute for her coffee and cake. Once Finn handed her the bag goodie, she gave Rey a handful of ones, exchanging for the correct change and adding a generous tip. “You always spell his name wrong! And on purpose, too!”

“Because it’s stupid,” Poe defended, waving at Jessica as she walked away to a small table where her laptop was set up, a few books open around it, “if he wants me to spell it right, he should give me his real name!”

“Everybody uses pseudonyms these days,” Rey pointed out, leaning on the counter and fiddling with her keychain. The little light-up sword at the end of it had been a small present from Maz, her foster mom, to celebrate her first job, “it’s not uncommon.”

“But they only use fake names when the baristas don’t know their names! We all know him! His mom owns the place!” Just then, the bell at the door jingled, and the three of them looked to see who’d just entered their establishment on a Tuesday afternoon. “Speak of the devil,” Poe smirked, leaning on the counter next to Rey, “good afternoon, general!” He called as Leia Organa walked to the staircase leading up to her office above the coffee shop, a stack of papers pulled to her chest.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Dameron. I wish you would stop calling me that, though. At least to my face,” She looked around the shop at the handful of customers, “slow day, kids?” They all nodded. With a small smile, she nodded her head to the pastry display, “why don’t you each take a sweet, then? They’re going to go bad by tomorrow, anyway.”

Rey loved the General -a common nickname the employees had for Leia. She had started the entire business from the ground up, working through The First Coffee Order (a chain brand that miraculously popped up right across the street from them) attempting to foil her at every turn and even the sudden death of her husband. 

It also helped that, at the end of each day, the food that wasn’t bought was divided among and sent home with her employees, though Rey usually took the bigger keep. It wasn’t much, sometimes nothing, but it was usually enough to not bother Maz too much for food until her next shift. She would never admit it, but Rey’s foster mom had a bit of trouble supporting both herself  _ and _ a daughter.

Rey watched Finn slide open the glass case, handing a brownie to Poe, who happily took it,  without bothering to ask before grabbing a cake pop for himself. Rey slid her hand in, grabbing a sugar cookie and readjusting her cap as she settled back into her place at the register.

“You just don’t like him because he’s got better hair than you.” Rey took a bite, chickling to herself when she heard one of the paper cups drop to the floor. Turning, she saw Poe with his mouth hanging in the air and his hand limp. Finn was covering his mouth to suppress the giggles racking through his person.

“You. Did.  _ Not, _ ” Poe hissed, genuinely offended. Rey couldn’t hold back her laughter at the absolutely  _ horrified _ look he was giving her. To make the ordeal so much funnier, he pressed a hand to his chest, mimicking the motion of a scandalized Southern belle. “I will have you know that my hair is ensured for thousands of dollars.”

“Sure, babe,” Finn rolled his eyes and went back to pouring cream into a cup of tea, adding the name in his blocky, bubbly handwriting.

That’s when the doors burst open. 

Now, Rey had been going to school with almost everyone in the coffee shop since she’d moved in with Maz. Most of her classes at the Republic University contained at least one of the kids in the room, and most of them had been in her senior year. So it was easy to recognize the heads of black, ginger, and platinum hair walking into the shop.

They moved in perfect synchronization, like they’d organized it before hand. Knowing Ben, they probably had. Hux was at the left, looking more like a fucking nerd than he had the previous day. The sweater vest wasn’t helping. To the right was Phasma, probably Rey’s favorite of the three. She wasn’t exactly mean, it was more the fact that she was the Assistant Manager of the First Coffee Order, so Rey was practically obligated to hate her. Other than that, she was a nice person.  _ Really _ had a problem with getting into fights, but nice.

And, in the middle, was Ben. Rey hated the boy, though not with the same passion that Poe seemed to have. It was more of a casual thing. Like, she didn’t hate him when he wasn’t doing anything wrong. But the moment he fucked up, she was ready to call him out on it.

And he fucked up a fair amount of the time. 

“ _ Ooh, look, _ ” Poe teased, giving a flirtatious wink to Hux which earned him a slap on the arm from Finn, an elbow to the gut from Rey, a blush from the ginger, a snicker from Phasma, and a dirty look from Ben. He did this all the time, fucked around with the trio for no other reason than that he could, “It’s the emo princess and his minions.”

Phasma rolled her eyes, adjusting the shiny silver earbud sticking out of her right ear and brushed a quick hand through her short hair. If only she wasn’t their rival, Rey would’ve loved to have her on their side. She was one of those effortlessly cool people, finding a way to make gray sweatpants and loose black tank tops look like high fashion. 

“Don’t you have better things to do than insult your customers?” Hux piped up from Ben’s side, fiddling a bit with the rolled sleeves of his pressed shirt. Rey was positive that, if he didn’t dress like an asshole with a stick up his but, he would look approachable, maybe even nice. The problem was that he had a resting bitch face that caused other students to avoid him at all costs.

“Don’t you have better things to do than trying to single-handedly piss off everyone at our school?” Poe snapped back, not even bothering to look at Hux. He’d already started on the three’s drinks. They ordered the same thing. Phasma was Finn’s problem (an iced green tea) while Hux stuck with a classic espresso and Ben always got a coffee (dark as my soul.)

“Somebody’s in a pissy mood,” Phasma teased, already pulling out a couple of ones from her wallet and handing them to Rey, who took them and exchanged them for the correct amount of change. 

“No, he’s just better at this than you are,” Rey shot as Finn slid her the drink. A little doodle of the Star Wars logo, a futuristic helmet, adorned the side. Before she’d gone to the dark side of the coffee making industry, Phasma had helped them design it. It was now customary that each of her drinks had a, however poorly drawn, replica on the side. She took it with a nod and stood back, watching Poe and Ben get into it again. 

They’d been childhood friends, that much Rey knew. And only because Finn had told her. Leia was like a second mother to Poe, as their families were tightly knit. He and Ben had played together all the time as kids, until something happened with Ben’s uncle Luke that Rey didn’t know about. All she knew was that they were mortal enemies, now.

“Rebellious scum,” Ben crossed his arms.

“You’re one to talk, Crylo,” Poe said over the coffee machine’s noise. At some point, Hux had received his drink and was offering Rey a debit card to swipe, which she took carefully. Hux was a manipulative little backstabber, and she was pretty sure he and Ben were hate fucking behind Leia’s back. (She had no proof except for the one time she’d seen Hux stumbling out of the upstairs office, Ben following him soon after. That was the first and last day she’d ever seen Hux without his hair perfectly gelled.)

She wouldn’t trust him enough to poke with a 10 foot pole, much less make physical contact with. He was scary and unapproachable. Maybe that’s why he was such an asset to the school’s debate team. Instead of handing him the debit card, she slid it across the counter, as if she were afraid that if there was a conductor between him and her she would be electrified. 

“Poe, just leave it be,” Finn said, putting a gentle hand on his boyfriend’s chest and gave a curt nod to Ben. Begrudgingly, Poe turned away from the ‘customers’, instead choosing to whisper quietly to Finn, who was making the drink for Ben. Not even half a minute later, the two of them were snickering at something and Poe was pulling a sharpie from his apron’s pocket to write something on the side of the cup.

“Here you go, your imperial dickish-ness.” Poe handed over the cup in an overdramatic way, making a big show of sliding the paper cup across the counter. “I hope it’s everything you were expecting.”

Grumbling, Ben took the cup. He took it, walked maybe three feet, and crushed it in his hand. Coffee flew everywhere -Rey noted that she’d probably be the one stuck cleaning it up- and he threw the crumpled cup back at Poe and Finn. 

Rey looked at the cup, which had landed on the counter, leaving a trail of black coffee in its wake. In big, blocky sharpie writing that Rey recognized as Finn’s was the name ‘Carl Laurens.’ Underneath it, in Poe’s slightly scratchier font, was ‘Punk Bitch’ in parentheses.

It was hard to contain her laughter. So hard that, in fact, she couldn’t. Rey let out one sharp, piercing bark of laughter before slapping a hand over her mouth. The last thing she needed was for Ben to run upstairs to his mom and tell her that she had been laughing at him. She needed this job.

Finn and Poe didn’t seem to have such fears. They were openly giggling, leaning on each other and gasping as if they were out of oxygen. The handful of people in the cafe were looking over to see the spectacle. Jessica was glancing up from behind her laptop in an irritated manner, as if she couldn’t be bothered with this. Snap, one of Poe’s friend’s who Rey knew vaguely, was holding up a phone to take a picture of Ben, who looked like he was about to blow steam out of his ears. And Kare, another of Poe’s friends, snorting from her place next to Snap. 

“What is happening down here?” Leia asked as she descended the stairs, arms crossed. Rey loved Leia like a mother, she did, but she was also horrifically afraid of her. More specifically, she was afraid that Leia would be disappointed in her. She quickly set to work on gathering paper towels to clean up the spill on the ground. Poe and Finn both stood in attendance, though a small smile still played on Finn’s mouth. 

“Well, for starters-” Ben said before Phasma took a step in front of him.

“Poe said something really funny,” She interrupted, “it got all of us laughing. Don’t worry about it.”

A moment of hesitant silence passed between the seven of them before Leia crinkled her eyebrows. “Okay, kids,” she said, “if you say so. I just came in for some papers. I’ll be out in a moment, so Poe lock up. Please don’t kill each other while I’m gone.” At the last bit Rey could’ve sworn she looked directly at Ben. With that, he disappeared up the stairs again only to return a moment later with folders under one arm and a large leash under the other. “Ben, I’m going to pick up Chewie, if you, Brendol, and Gwen need a ride somewhere.”

Poe snorted. “Did you hear that, Finn? His name’s  _ Brendol.” _

Hux shot a dirty look at the barista’s general direction before facing Leia, “That’s very kind, ma’am. We all appreciate it.” Taking that as an acceptance to her offer, Leia led the three of them out of the cafe, though not before Ben could offer a rather rude hand gesture to them.

“Hey guys,” Rey looked over, “is anyone else completely stunned that Phasma wasn’t her  _ first _ name?”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm too far up this fandom's ass


End file.
